Listening to the radio is almost painful.

I apparently look 'ruggard ' today. I concluded i look like shit. Can't sleep, eating is not the same anymore, hardly drinking and i can't even find the effort to clean my aquarium. I hope the fishies will be ok with just food for now. I just want this period of my life to be over.

Today, i honestly thought of crawling out of a window on the 10th floor was a reasonable solution to my problem. To end my pain, to end my patheticness of being human. It's a stupid idea, i should hit myself for thinking such a stupid thought ( i did).

Also to give this depression a helping hand Sydney's top radio stations keep playing 'love sick' rnb songs, i hate it because the songs they play are actually nice to listen to. But when it seems like each and every song describes an aspect of my pathetic love life on what was... or what is... I can't explain how shit i feel in words. The closest description i can give is that, i can almost feel that lactic acid burn, throbbing in my chest, its painful.

I'm just going to read. I hope that will just past time. My fingers are still rotting away slowly. I wish it would stop and heal already, it's stopping me from doing things. Argh, life sucks!